I’ve taken the advice of a brother whose instincts can be better than mine and rewritten this intro I don’t know how many times. The brother I mention is one who sensed another brother had overdosed on pills so many, many years ago. (I didn’t pick up on that one) Anyway, I hope this will be a final version. This has been hard to write because of the pain involved.
Before I go to the very, very top of a putrid pile of garbage; I’ll go to the very, very bottom of that heap. The bottom for us was my daughter’s very first dialysis session in an outpatient dialysis clinic. She had gotten a very late diagnosis of kidney disease back in 2000 and wound up receiving emergency dialysis in the hospital, she seemed to be coming along fine.
I watched her being prepped at her very first session in the clinic and put on the machine, the tech then wandered off. All of a sudden my daughter started shaking like a leaf, her eyes turned to me and she cried “Dad, get me off!”. I screamed for the tech to get the hell over! He ran over and proceeded to quickly pull her off the machine, my recollection is that was the end of her first session.
In her later sessions my memory tells me she was handed over to a nurse for prep and care – and things seemed to be going fine. At one of those sessions the tech we had first met came by and we got to talking. I wound up asking about his education, I figured being a tech he must at least have an associate degree! He got a sheepish look on his face and mumbled something – I can’t remember what he said, but I’ve always remembered that look. I’ll give the tech credit, at least he seemed like someone capable of feeling guilt – unlike someone mentioned quite often on this site. And I’m starting to have doubts about a couple of our favorite billionaires. Though I will say at least one of the duo has started to show signs of guilt? Is it guilt, or just concern for himself? Maybe some of that nonsense spouted about an afterlife might be true! Anyway, not for me to decide.